Please don't cry (Part 2)

By now, my tear buds felt as if it had drained out. Everyone was just the same. We were all producing blood tears and it is not-stopping! This was the day promised by God, whom I knew very little of. I thought that life was being living life to its FULLEST and party hard! And when you’re dead, YOU’RE DEAD and that’s that! Oh, how wrong was I...

Lust is what I worshipped; I would follow whatever it is that it tells me to; I would eat all that I see whether it was forbidden or allowed, whatever that was edible, I will be the first to eat; I would look for girls to satisfy my needs; I would drink and party until I was beat. I would crash smoke pot; I would laugh at those who worship God, I would mock behind them and boycott them so that they would look like s**t in front of everybody. I would make fun of the Holy Book (Al Qur’an) and the teachings of the Prophet.

Its all coming back to me now! I remember a bunch of silly looking Moslems praying night and day coming up to me saying that I should change my habits! I mean, who were they to tell me what to do? I do whatever hell I wanna do! That’s what I thought then. I didn’t even receive them in a polite way. I treated them as if they were some kind of scumbag or worse, terrorist! I fear that they might have something hidden under their scarves but all they hid was a modest heart. I was not moving anywhere. I stood there feeling idiotic, regretful, and overly hopeless. I wish I could go back and mend my ways. I promise!!!

Dear God, I will be your utmost obedient servant; I will do what I can to change EVERYTHING; I will pray until my body bruised; I will treat others kind; I will give money to the poor; I will join those who bow to you; I will not “swear” I SWEAR!; I will not love my girlfriend/wife/family/friends more than I love You and Your Messenger. But its all too late for that now. I was at the point of breaking down. Where His words were recited to me, I act as if I was not listening, when I see His many wonderful creations, I act as if I was blind and when the truth spoke out, I stuck a finger in my ears. Where will this day end I ask myself?

All I can do now is cry, cry for an infinite time. I cried so many times before, I cried when someone took my girlfriend away from me; I cried when I failed my test; I cried when I didn’t get that job I wanted so bad; I cried when Manchester United lost to Chelsea in 2007 in the finals. And the worse thing was, I cried when I spilled alcohol on my favorite jeans. I was a cry baby. A baby who had grown into a normal man with perfect hearing/sight/mind who never cared so much about the day of Resurrection; I blame my friends, friend whom I thought would help me forever. I really didn’t think that this day would come. I would go to “social gatherings”, I would spend time with my friends talking about things which were not beneficial. It was fun though, I thought. It was fun to know that I was known by a lot of people. They would say hi to me and ask me if I wanted to go join them for tea. Yep, I was a hit during my time. Everyone would try to talk to me whenever they can. It was the life anyone would envy...

"The terrible calamity! What is the terrible calamity! And what will make you comprehend what the terrible calamity is? The day on which men shall be as scattered moths, And the mountains shall be as loosened wool. Then as for him whose measure of good deeds is heavy, He shall live a pleasant life. And as for him whose measure of good deeds is light, His abode shall be the abyss. And what will make you know what it is? A burning fire." [Al-Qari’ah:1-11]